Ceci n’est pas an apology

“Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans.”
–Allen Saunders

Such true words. When I started this year, blogging daily or more, about purging, simplifying, and generally, a sort of makeover of the cerebral type, I had every intention and desire of following through. Barring something major for a given day, and then still, having something “queued up” anyway, it was to happen. Unfortunately, even the best of intentions fall short without follow-through.

Sure, it starts simply enough. Something urgent on the homefront. Maybe a child having a harder time getting to sleep, “cutting into” the time previously set aside, intended to write. “No worries, I can do a bit later, or worse case, at lunch tomorrow”. Sure enough, the following day, during lunch, writing happened. But then maybe the patterns recurs that night, with a promise to write at lunch again. But, egads, a critical situation has arisen, and instead of breaking for lunch, it is fetched and bites eaten between typing an email, or IM, maybe a phone call, or running a command.

Again, no worries. I’ll just double-down tonight. And maybe that works, maybe only one entry is written, for fear of “diluting” the perceived “quality” of the writing. Ok, so one day behind. No biggie. Pobody’s nerfect, right? But, a strong majority of the time is still pretty impressive none the less! And from there, the slope only gets slipperier, unless you do something to regain traction.

Unfortunately for me, I went down the slope, along for the ride, letting the slope guide my path, rather than making any attempts to stear myself into a position closer to where I wanted, and still want, to be. Part of my intention and goals from writing daily, was to “exercise that muscle”, of writing. Just getting words out, in order to get better at getting words out.

“They say that your first million written words are practice, and it’s only from then that you start to master your craft.”
–Jassy Mackenzie

So, for now, I still intend to keep working on myself. To remove and purge clutter from my life, physical, mental, emotional or otherwise. Not sure what that leaves, but I’m sure there’s a chance I’ll find out! I’m definitely not making any promise to a specific timetable or frequency, but I will write frequently, if even only for myself. In a way, it’s a release. Blowing off steam, or setting the hold that the thought or thing which had a hold on me. Yes, though it may still exist, and perhaps even maintain a presence in my mind, I cannot permit it to maintain a hold on me, keeping my thoughts and emotions in its clutches.

Also, for some reason I’m not fully aware of or understanding, I am also feeling a stronger urge and desire to write. I don’t know why, or to what end, purpose, or even a “category”. But simply to write. Who knows, perhaps there are words, beneath the surface, beneath the cacophony of thoughts and other words, which yearn to be let free and see the light of day. Maybe I’m just a bit wickey in the wacky woo. Either way, it is quite likely that I will not be worse off from it!

“You fail only if you stop writing.”
–Ray Bradbury

I guess, in a way, this can be considered as a decent start, or as is in vogue with movie franchises, a “reboot”.